Seahorses: A Most Intriguing Prospect

By nation Fishayyyyyyyyyyyyy May 19, 2012




Most of you people, wasting away your lives playing amazing games like Call of Duty and RepCom, have been unaware your entire lives of one of the coolest and most important things in the universe: Seahorses. Yes, seahorses. With over .5 inches of pure muscle packed fury, these miniature carnivores could beat any one of you in a 1v1.

There are many little known facts about seahorses, most of which will blow your minds! I bet you are comparing them to things like butterflies and dragonflies in your mind, but I assure you, you should be comparing the tiny packages of pure fury to the T-Rex and Saber Toothed Tiger (except tiny marine versions that eat plankton and small crustaceans). Woman power has become man power in the world of the horse de mar, as the male seahorses carry the eggs themselves, having been injected into their pouch by the female.

Unfortunately, seahorsies aren't completely amazing in ALL ways, shapes, fashions, and forms. No, as amazing as they are, they can't swim quite as well as the other fish. In fact, they can be caught up in strong ocean currents and die because of their inept abilities. Let's face it though people, with that weird body structure and those tiny fins, I doubt you'd do any better!

Of course, we also must consider the inevitable human factor that goes into effect against the seahorse. Pollution and destruction of coral reefs kills more seahorsies than all the ocean currents combined! Many species are endangered and others may be going extinct before they are even discovered. Better not litter!

In conclusion, seahorses are cool, the human race is driving them to extinction, and potatoes are delicious!

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Editor's Note: For those wondering how this got published, it was under the guise of current events. (As Sideways would say, "REEL TALK.") Stop polluting, you're killing seahorses.

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Keywords: IRL

Comments


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um u are a sea horse hugger!! LOL

nation Delta87  Sat., May. 26, 2012 12:46:24 AM  


I loved this f***ing article. More of this shit stat.

nation VictorSandman  Thu., May. 24, 2012 12:44:26 AM  


Nice, very original. I like your News Article :)

nation Ski.  Tue., May. 22, 2012 1:58:17 PM  


lmfao

nation vengeance  Sat., May. 19, 2012 3:31:07 PM  


Maybe I could get a sea-pony... OceanCookie II! (Well, really OceanCookie I) And I'll feed it 1 cent Amazon prison biscuits so it will literally be eating Seabiscuit

nation lead  Sat., May. 19, 2012 7:54:19 AM  

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